In the envelope I pulled out one last thing — Mother’s Day cards. All handmade by me. She must have saved them all these years…

My mother’s death shook me to my core. I was in shock, but I didn’t want to stay in the silence of death. So I put a dress on and we went.

I spent my life trying to burrow myself into the home of the mother, but she didn’t feel at home within herself, so I couldn’t find her there. 

This pull to go to my mother would not leave me. It was as if I could somehow feel that she needed not just any love - but the love of a mother.

I made it to the other side of the end of my world.

For the first time since she left, the waters inside me are still.

Letter to Mom, with Love

Autumn wrapped me in a warm delight…

Musings from a morning walk…

A year ago today, I was exactly 41 weeks pregnant, when

Yesterday was one of my hardest days.

Slowly, I’m losing my mother.

There is a version of my life where I never had a child.

A starting place.